Tinkerbell gets more candy than Sad Ladybug. Barely.

It's that time of year again. The time when it's almost impossible to resist the urge to dress small children up and revel in their cuteness. And now that Hannah is in school, she has, you know, friends, so she knows what Trick or Treat is. In fact, we had a long talk about how we are never really allowed to pull down people's underwear, and the little song she learned is only for pretend, NEVER for real.

You know, teachable moments. 

So, we've had the great debate this month about what she is going to get dressed up as for, as I try to get her to call it (unsuccessfully), "National Kids Dress Up Day." Being three years old, Hannah has vacillated like a drunken top. I finally got her pinned down to being a cookie. No problem. I have, in my possession, a quilting hoop, an unused white sheet, a potato, and paint. So we made a cookie costume.

Then we went to the "Boo at the Zoo." Ellie had a ladybug costume we got from a friend, and she resolutely refused to take the antennae hat off, nor would she smile. Apparently the hat sucks all the joy out of her face, so we christened her "Sad Ladybug." 

That was last weekend. This past weekend, Hannah refused to wear the cookie outfit and insisted that she wear her much-used Tinkerbell dress up dress and wings. *fine.* At least she wore the cookie once. Ellie was once again the Sad Ladybug. We went to a fall festival at a local church, and it was way fun. Hannah got to roast her first marshmallow, they got lots of candy from people's trunks, and nothing was scary. 

The funniest thing was watching people react to the girls. Hannah was her gregarious self, playing every little game, saying "Thank you," and generally being a fairy of happiness. Ellie was the biggest grump, staring at people as if they were all going to bite her, and refusing to get down from Daddy's arms. And yet, people took as much, if not more notice of Ellie and gave her handfuls of candy even though she was as taciturn as a wooden stick. However, we did put her to bed afterward, and I took Hannah down the street to see our neighbors, so she out-candied Ellie in the end. 

We found a friend in a little bee baby and got pictures of them together- precious!!

Hoping Again

I am having a major sense of Deja-vu. Well, no, I am actually past that point by a little bit. This week, we received, signed, notarized and mailed an update to our embryo adoption contract. We have a preliminary ok, and are waiting for the final word that everything is in order with Embryo Adoption Services of Cedar Park and our contract will be open for another 12 months. I weaned Ellie a week ago, and met with the Reproductive Endocrinologist this week to re-establish care.

It was approximately at this point in 2013 that I did *not* wean Hannah or sign a contract or go back to the RE's office. At that point in time I was nervous about proceeding with another embryo transfer (when  I thought we were going to do one). Right now, I am excited and hopeful. Other than the whole medicated cycle deal, I feel emotionally like I did when we were hoping to conceive 7 odd years ago. I have every reason to believe things will go well, and am looking forward to the process, and it's really hard for me to fathom that I am in this place again. Talk about restoring the time the locusts had stolen!

I am not the person who normally would post this sort of thing. With my previous pregnancies, I barely mentioned them online at all. That was largely because I was coming from a place of loss and self-protectiveness, which was absolutely what I needed at the time. Right now though, I am not in that cocoon mode. I feel very whole, and I am not afraid to chronicle this process as it unfolds, whatever the outcome.

That being said, here's what I know is coming up:

1.) I have to wait until my next period to put 1 full cycle between nursing and transfer prepping.
2.) I am waiting for the final word that the paperwork is complete, and that should come within a month; I'm not expecting any delays on that front.
3.) Once my next cycle starts, I have a script for continuous-dose birth control to start shutting down my ovaries. Last time I was on that for 6 weeks prior to transfer.
4.) I will need to have a hysteroscopy before I'll be cleared by the RE to be placed on a transfer timeline. (This is new, last time it was a sonohysterogram).

After that all clears, I'll get meds ordered and get a schedule for monitoring and transfer! Also, to my great relief, I learned that my RE's office has a satelite 20 minutes from my house so I won't have to make the 5 hour round trip again until the actual embryo transfer.

The girls went with me to the appointment and Hannah got to meet the doctor who put her in my tummy. He was so glad to see them, and I got to be properly mortified that all Hannah wanted to do was flip upside down in the chair and show her bottom side. *sigh* They even had her birth announcement in my chart- what an amazing experience to be in that office without the anxiety and sense of dread I remember from before.

The other highlight of the week was getting Ellie's next clothing size unpacked and discovering that one of the little dresses matches one of Hannah's. It must have been a really popular style, both of them are hand me downs! Here are the little darlings the morning of my RE appointment.

The Sad Demise of the Fancy Camera

Remember the Fancy Camera? The one we got shortly after Hannah turned 1? The one that takes awesome pictures with almost no effort? It's blinking "ERR" which means... call Nikon and see how much it would take to fix it. But.... I can get the same camera body on Amazon for less than $150 (yes, it's an old model, but I really don't care because I'm not a "photographer" by any means), and it will likely cost at least that much to tinker with the one I have, if not. So I want a new camera but I'm not getting one right now because it's just not happening right now. And the lack of nice pictures has put a damper on my blogging aspirations. I'm just not inspired, haha!

Now I have my phone- still much better than the point and click we replaced with the fancy camera. Plus, it takes video, so that is a plus.

One of the reasons I am not getting a replacement camera body right now is because I have a new sewing machine. This story of the new sewing machine comes with the rest of the story of what we've been up to the last few weeks.

It goes like this:

The girls started preschool at a Montessori school a few weeks ago, which allows me to pick up some extra home health visits for a while. They go 3 days a week, and Ellie takes a nap while she's there. She needed a nap mat. All the affordable ones had Disney princesses or Dora plastered across them, and all the ones I liked were not what I would consider affordable. So I decided to make one from some old sheets, because... it shouldn't be that hard, really.

Now, I like to sew, but my machine is decades old, basic, and quirky. It got progressively worse as I tried to sew these few simple seams, and I was in tears by the third night of what should have been a 3 hour job. So my neighbor gave me her second-hand machine that she didn't want anymore, which was rusty but sewed a seam... but the bobbin winder didn't work. I therefore had to keep 2 machines out, one to wind bobbins and the other to sew seams, and I kept fantasizing in my head about all of the things I've always wanted in a machine and isn't it high time to get a new one?

I finally churned out this (please don't zoom in and examine the seams- it's painful):

Passable, but it could have been much, much better. Then I started researching machines. I checked out Craigslist, but nothing available fit the bill. I looked at Berninas (My mother has one that I learned on), but they are soooooo expensive. I looked at Brothers, but have always been unimpressed with their quality track record and didn't want to sort through which machine might be worth it it and which models were probably junky. I finally visited a local sewing store and found the Babylock. Yes, similar to Brother structurally (but not, I found out, the same company- despite some claims that it is). 

I bit the bullet, and bought the one I wanted new, and I rarely buy things new, but this one was worth it. I sat down the next evening and made Ellie a skirt for her uniform. Do you know nobody makes Khaki skirts or scooters in any size smaller than 3T? Why don't they think 1 year olds want school uniforms too? Really now. So, to sum up, it took me 3 days to sew a silly nap mat with the old machine(s) and 1 evening to tailor a scooter skirt with the new one (and I even modified the pattern to suit my needs). 

Well, Hannah is absolutely loving preschool. Ellie adapted quickly, but Hannah can't wait. Every day she asks me if it's preschool day, and she has been picking "pre-school hair" for me to do on her from my new favorite website Babes in Hairland. Ellie has only had 1 accident for them in the last 2 weeks, so I'd say she's good and potty trained even with a change in location and routine, and that makes me happy too.

Preschool babies!!

The Other Love

My husband might have been my first romance, but he was not my first love. In fact, we still have an "open relationship." I've never lied to him. It's not that he's second fiddle, it's just that he can't be everything, and there's something else I need that he just can't give me. There's something else, and there has been ever since I can remember.

It's the Library. I can't help it. I might have backed off a bit in college when our school library was mostly academic snoozers and I wasn't a resident so I couldn't have a county card, but I started right back with it as soon as I was out. It was already a weekly occurrence, but then I bought myself a Kindle with some old visa rewards points, and discovered that libraries lend e-books. Just when I thought I could't love the Library any more, it goes and melts my heart all over again. Because it is so much easier to read on a Kindle while nursing than having to hold a book open and turn pages.

What can I do? I am passing along this obsession to the girls. They will be library princesses if I have anything to do with it!! This is from the "good manners tea party." Where Hannah refused to wear her Tea hat. Ellie is off camera trying to eat it.

My passion is being fed like mad these days. We moved from podunkville, USA where the library with the good preschool program was 45 minutes away (and YES, we made that drive every week!) to a Big County System, where the central library has 4 stories and our local branch is 10 minutes down the road.

The kids programs are awesome. Not only is there story time every week, but now there's a weekly language class for pre-schoolers (Spanish for now- French in the fall!), with short videos that I can access from home, a craft, and songs to learn. Then a couple of times a month, they do a themed story/ craft with decorations and the whole bit. THEN, they have a "Mommy and me" pre-school ballet class once a month- could it get any cuter?

And they deliver books directly to my house. And they have live music events. And they have adult language learning online. And, and, and.... it goes on! I love the Library, and I just can't help it! Oh, and if I check out 10 books, I get a free movie to download. This is not a problem. Date night on the Library!

So, right now, I am reading The Never Ending Story for the first time- anybody remember that movie? Strangely, they changed the name of the imagination world from "Fantastica" to "Fantasia." I am halfway through and still having trouble not saying "Fantasia" in my head every time I read the name of the book world. And Sam and I are reading(me)/ listening to(him) the Inkheart series, which is wonderful. I finally found a way to get him to read with me, thanks to the Library!

Happy Nurses/ Teacher's week!

Thursday was my day. Until I babysat the cousins last minute. And Friday was my day. Until Ellie fell asleep 2 hours early and didn't take a nap during Hannah's quiet time. So Saturday is my day!

Now let me tell you a story. Several years back, I had a bad day at work. And was 7 months post miscarriage and not pregnant again. So I had a sudden craving for Cinnabon, because, it was necessary. I looked it up. Not only was the closest Cinnabon about 10 minutes from our apartment, it was Nurse's week, and Cinnabons were FREE with a name badge. 

NO WAY!

So, I took advantage of the deal. And from then on I tended to associated Cinnabon with nurses week,  and with sugar palliation of disappointment. 

Last week, we redeemed that association. For the first time since that episode, I went to Cinnabon. This time, I took my girls. I got to give them a special treat off-budget because I am a nurse! It was heavenly. Heavenly tasting, yes, but more so it just made my heart burst to share the moment with my two girls. Here they are, eating my Cinnabon. 

And the home health agency I take jobs for was giving away cheap stethoscopes to their nurses, so now the girls have a "real" toy stethoscope to play nurse/doctor with. And they are quite cute. 

If you look closely, you can see Ellie's cast on her little arm. She had a tumble in which I caught her, but her arm hit the side of the bench as she fell. Earned herself 2 weeks in a cast for a fracture, poor little princess! Hannah picked the purple for her. It's off now, and no further follow up needed, so we're all back to normal now.

So, of course, it was teacher's week too. I painted the back side of the kitchen cabinets with chalkboard paint, and now the girls can play school too. Hannah has been getting check marks for doing little chores like making her bed (with help) and staying in her room at bedtime. Yeah for teachers and nurses!

In which, I am Goo.

Staying at home with two little ones is a daily balancing act. Most days there's a lot of redirection, screaming for no discernible reason (them, not me!), and back and forth between the never-coordinated needs of a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I love it, I wouldn't trade it; I'm not so rose colored that I think it's fun and easy all the time.

The other day though, we had one of THOSE days. The rare ones. The one in which everything you imagine happening, happens. 

First, we all slept until a decent hour. Then, we made our beds, got dressed brushed our teeth, and got breakfast ready without any meltdowns. Then, we had nothing planned, so we walked to the park with our strollers. The weather was perfect, not hot, but not at all cold. There were flowers to pick, so we stopped to pick them. We mood at cows. I even had a plan for dinner.

This is when Hannah came up with a new game. It's the renaming game. It went something like this:

"Mommy, you are Goo!"

"Oh, I'm Goo, huh?"

"Yeah! And Ellie is Bugga Boo Boo! And I'm Gigi!"

"What do you think, Ellie?"

"Not Ellie! Bugga Boo Boo!"

"Oh, sorry. What do you think, Bugga Boo Boo?"

(Bugga Boo Boo giggles)

"She likes it Goo!"

We played like this all day. I was, in fact, "Goo" for weeks. For some reason it makes Hannah and Ellie break into giggle fits. 

Then we came home and Gigi and Bugga Boo Boo played with water, got drenched, got muddy, then got to play in the bath. I don't actually remember what we had for dinner, but I know it got made at a decent time. And that Daddy didn't get a special name for whatever reason. It was just me. 

Daddy gets a lot of privileges, you know. He's gone all day, so when he gets home, it's fun hour. He gets the daily recap, the tickle fest, and the dance time while I cook. But this was a Mommy special. Those other days, the ones where I wonder how many times I can repeat the same set of directions, or try to figure out why the hysterics started, or clean up some kind of staining spill, I remember this one. I get tired, I get grouchy, I get overwhelmed, no doubt. But I must be doing something right.

Because I am Goo.

Summertime.... and the living is easy.

It's hard to believe that summer is halfway over. I would like to say that I  haven't posted anything because we've been sooooo busy, but the truth is quite the opposite; I haven't done much of anything because we've been sooooo relaxed these days. We officially completed our time at the boy's ranch ministry, and moved back to our hometown at the end of April. We're renting for now, but will be moving again when we find a house to purchase that's closer to the job Mr. Myth is starting in August.

That's right- new job, new house, new community coming up next! The job is at a charter school that focuses heavily on math (Mr. Myth's specialty) and science. It's an exciting career move and his making a normal teaching salary will allow me to stay home with little girls again.

So, what HAVE we been doing?

Well, in May we went on a BIG TRIP to see a family member graduate medical school and made several stops along the way:

First we saw my friends from college who have little girls about the same age. Then we saw cousins at the graduation/ commissioning ceremony. Then we went to see Sam's aunt and uncle, and concluded with visiting the girls' third cousins a good friend who had recently moved away. 2 weeks on the road was plenty. I'm glad to be done, but I'm also glad for the fantastic opportunity afforded us to take the trip. Here's a sample of the fun.

Who doesn't love a pool?

First cousins!

Shameless "my kid likes healthy food" brag pic.

Third cousins!

Porch swing on a summer evening- perfect.

What else? Well... not much. We go to the park a lot. We go to the library for story time. We walk to the grocery store around the corner that gives out cookies. We have my sister and the cousins over for a little post-partum exercise session a couple of times a week (her little boy is 2 days older than Ellie!). Mr. Myth had a minor surgery a couple of weeks ago, so we've been laying low and even watching some Veggie Tales in the evenings. Hannah doesn't know that the originals aren't the cool hip thing for kids right now!

It has been so. nice. Just hanging out as a family and having time for friends whenever has been a huge breath of fresh air. I love summer. Soon enough things will get hectic again, in different ways, but I hope we can hold onto some of the solidarity and enjoyment of each other's company that we've been reveling in recently. The most recent picture-worthy thing we did was the 4th of July parade. There was a water fountain incident on the way back, I could tell you, or I could show you:

"Oh look! Water!"

"I'm wet..."

Hannah: The Year in Review

It's been a long year.

In April 2013, I started a job. 12 hour night shifts, 3 nights a week, every other weekend. Hannah was 15 months old. She could barely talk. She loved grapes, cheese, and the park. She looked like this:

She started going to a babysitter on days I had to sleep and Daddy had to work. She learned a little bit of Spanish from the babysitter- we still use the word "agua" almost exclusively when talking about water. I missed her on days I worked, but she adjusted well. I used the opportunity to slowly wean, since our doctor wouldn't do another embryo transfer until a month after we were done completely. 

In July 2013, Mr. Myth and I celebrated 6 years of marriage. Hannah was 18 months old. We were down to nursing only at night a few nights a week. I was preparing to cut her off completely once my next cycle started. It didn't. We looked like this:

In September 2013, Hannah was still nursing since I no longer had to wean for the next embryo transfer. She was 20 months old. We started potty training. She had to get a new babysitter because the old one started a new job. She potty trained in about 3 weeks, using the "3 day method." She still didn't talk much, so she could use the potty, just not talk about it. Good thing she'd go on command. She loved to "help" with dishes. She looked something like this:

In October 2013, Hannah's granddad got remarried, and Hannah got to be the flower girl! She was not shy. She marched right down that aisle with her flower girl partner in crime like she was born for it. I should start a business renting her out as a professional wedding attendant. We stopped by a pumpkin patch with her cousin (1 year older) on our way back home from the wedding. She was 21 months old and looked like this:

In December 2013, Hannah turned 2! I got a wild hair and threw her a themed birthday party- the Very Hungry Caterpillar. She obliged by being her Very Hungry Self. She had started picking up lots of words just a couple of weeks before her birthday. She looked like this:

In March 2014 she was 27 months old. She would put her hand on my belly and say "baby!" She was talking in 2-3 word sentences. I was on maternity leave and loving the time I had with her as she transitioned from being an only child to being a big sister. We looked like this:

And then, everything changed. In 1hr and 45 minutes on the morning of March 28th, we went from a family of 3 to a family of four. Now we look like this:

In which Mommy makes panels for the baby carrier because she got bored with the old ones.